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CaptainVertigo
2017-04-26 10:01:09
Close Encounters near Coomataggart
It was almost 2am last Saturday morning, as I turned the ‘Ham towards the Cork/Kerry border at Ballyvourney. An oncoming vehicle passed me by, ground to a halt, before turning and following me. The blue lights began to flash on the unmarked car. It was like the “landing scene” from Close Encounters of the Third Kind as I stepped out of the ‘Ham to face my accusers. In the excitement, I forgot that I had undone the button at the top of my jeans to ease the pressure on my pizza filled stomach (part of my high carb intake for the day ahead). The jeans began to slip from my hips as I walked towards the light. I was so glad that my white underpants had been recently washed with high quality detergent and wondered if the spinning light would have the same effect as the strobe lighting in a disco, with all my white parts becoming luminous. While I shielded my headlight-blinded eyes with my right hand, I fished for my declining britches with the other. The two fresh faced young Gardai invited me to re-enter the ‘Ham and speak to them through the open window. While there was undoubtedly a strong smell of pepperoni pizza wafting towards the law, I felt that the absence of alcohol would stand to my credit.

“Where did you come from?” “Trim”. “That’s a long way. Where are you going?” The Garda that asked the questions shone his torch into the back of the ‘Ham noticing that all 5 back seats were missing. “I’m going to the mountains…”. “In the dark?”. “Yes but I won’t start until first light”. “Are you taking any medication …prescription medication…have you “taken” anything at all?” “No, just a pizza” “And what will you do all night, while you’re waiting like?” I felt that he was using Cork dialect to put me at my ease. Before I could answer he said: “Do you want to sort yourself out “down there”?” All three of us stared at my nethers. As I struggled with the zip that had become jammed, the big fellow said again: “And what will you do all night boy?” “I’m going to sleep until first light”. “Is that a tent in the back?” “No, it’s my backpack…I’m going to sleep in the car” “Where’ll you park it?” “There’s a parking place beside the windmills on Coomataggart…I’m climbing all the higher mountains in Ireland and I have most of them done” “You must be worn out at this stage” said the quiet Guard. “Right go on…but be careful.” “I will”

Fifteen minutes later I was driving through the last section of boreen before the Coomataggart windmills, sheepishly. Despite the fact that it was a public road, there was a point where I seemed to be driving through a residential farmyard. The hounds of the Baskervilles, restrained only by chains, all launched themselves at the ‘Ham in a concerted attack barking savagely, as I sped through the yard towards the mills. Four pairs of mad eyes bobbed hither and thither in time to the yelps. I pictured the residents debating whether to phone the police, or tackle me themselves. As I lay in the back of the ‘Ham, I could hear the cacophony of barks from the yard playing away in the background, when, almost unbelievably, a donkey began to bray. At that very moment I felt the first of many intestinal twinges, and began to imagine a Noah’s Ark of demented creatures leaping upon my person as I would attempt to recycle the pizza that was wending its way through me.

http://mountainviews.ie/track/report/3441/
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RECENT CONTRIBUTIONS 1 2 3 .. 29 Next page >>
Track
Fothair na Manach
Fergalo an hour ago.
Fothair na Manach is one of the remotest, most spectacular & magical sites in Ireland and barely accessible. It lies jus walk, Len: 13.8km, Climb: 1118m, Area: Brandon Group (Ireland)

  
Summit Summary
Carran South Top: An uninspiring summit
Collaborative entry Last edit by: liz50 18 hours ago.
The shortest approach to Carran S top is from Bealick. Starting from Gougane Barra forest park W070 653 C. Follow trail to it's high point then head North to Bealick then follow a fence to Carran ...

  
Forum: General
No Green Card Required!
liz50 23 hours ago.
With the likely postponement of Brexit until June at the earliest a Green Card will not be required to attend the Mountainviews members and friends meetup walk in the Mournes on Saturday 6th April...

Summit Summary
Carran: Several approachs
Collaborative entry Last edit by: liz50 18 hours ago.
There is no direct approach to Carran. The options include taking in all 4 Carran summits from the west parking near a farmyard at the end of a yellow road W039 689 and follow a track from W043 68...

  
Summit Comment
An Cheathrú Lair: Highest Point is the West Quarter.89m ?
ucampbell 22 hours ago.
The way marked trail maps provided on the Island lead you to the Cliffs. However I wanted to reach the highest point and this was easily done in the time allowed before getting the afternoon ferry...

  
Summit Comment
Lackagh Mountain: Lackagh or Boleybrack?
TommyV a day ago.
My approach to Lackagh mountain also known as Boleybrack was from the West side of the mountain. There is a road leading to G90078 31002 where there is a road leading into a forest with unauthoriz...

Track
An Starraicin
Fergalo a day ago.
An Starraicin overlooking lockadun starting at the Lockadun start point Cloghane walk, Len: 9.0km, Climb: 533m, Area: An Starraic?n, Central Dingle (Ireland) An...

  
Summit Comment
Carrane Hill: Navy Seals only for this approach
TommyV a day ago.
I decided to try Carrane Hill from the East side as it looked on my map as if there was a forest track going most of the way up and indeed there is. It's possible to park at a forestry gate at G86...

  
Summit Comment
Curlew Mountains: The Blair Witch Project
TommyV a day ago.
It's hard to believe this has been visited by 19 members. paddyhillsbaggers description is about right. The first stage is a stumble over stumps and felled trees before entering the forest. I had ...

Summit Comment
Croaghmuckros: A great reward for a leisurely stroll
bertandally 2 days ago.
We parked up at the entrance to the comms mast access road at G6186975866 as we thought the access road was the best option for us as we had our 6 year old with us and regardless the recent weathe...

  
Track
Brandon point to Sas Creek to Araglen
Fergalo a day ago.
Brandon point to Sas Creek to Araglen returning to Brandon point be Teer bog road walk, Len: 16.2km, Climb: 554m, Area: Faill an tS?is, Brandon Group (Ireland) F...

  
Summit Comment
Carronadavderg: Very unremarkable.
TommyV 2 days ago.
Not much to add to the comments here except that there appears to be some maintenance work being carried out on the access road so there is a mound of gravel at the access gate so parking is a bit...


RECENT CONTRIBUTIONS 1 2 3 .. 29 Next page >>