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Post details Post   (Contract pics)
Having dispatched .. by CaptainVertigo   (Show all posts)
CaptainVertigo
2009-04-02 00:30:08
"Bear Necessities" from CaptainVertigo Contract pics
Picture: Bear Necessities (Contract pics)

Unbearable Grills – The Full Irish
(Part One) Bond Slaves of SKY TV in possession of The Discovery Channel will have noticed the recent arrival on our western shores of one Bear Grills (Tuesdays 10pm). Sensing that the ex-Special Forces survivalist might well tread terrain dear to my bosom, I cleared my heirs from the room and gave the aging superman full attention. Eschewing prosaic modes of transit, Grills emerged from the Atlantic standing bolt upright on a high speed inflatable heading straight for a cliff. The hoped for grisly fusion of man and rock failed to materialise as Bear, his camera crew, cook , make-up lady and several others, leapt from the craft and bobbed about in what turned out to be a dissapointingly tranquil sea. Bear breathlessy estimated the likely timeframe for the onset of hypothermia but failed to give nature a chance to take its course. Instead, he hauled himself onto the nearest rocky precipice. He nimbly ascended the half of it, before spotting a deep and narrow inlet of sea beneath him whereupon, as one does, he dived in, head first, before clambering back up the cliff. Throughout all of this immersion his clothes remained miraculously dry. Within minutes our hero spotted a rotting seal whose eyes had been consumed by maggots. Not content to merely stab the deceased in a fruitless search for blubber, Bear then cooked a stew of protazoan sea creatures from surrounding rock pools and used his sock to strain the juice, before frying the hapless maggots and downing the lot. I thought I heard the make-up lady squeal off camera: perhaps it was the mother of all maggots in existential agony?
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RECENT CONTRIBUTIONS 1 2 3 .. 16 Next page >>
Summit Comment
Bealick: Between two counties
Wilderness 11 hours ago.
I approached this mountain from the North East ,coming from the Coomataggart mountains. When I got to the top I had to walk around for a few minutes to pinpoint the true summit; which I'm sure is...

  
Track
Nephin from the North....stunning views.
derkelly274 11 hours ago.
First time climbing Nephin for both myself and my friend. We decided to go at it from the North as it seemed like a more walk, Len: 5.3km, Climb: 644m, Area: Nephin, North Mayo (Ireland) Nephin

  
User profile
derkelly274
derkelly274 14 hours ago.
Enjoy climbing the odd hill. Hope to visit more and more.

Summit Comment
Nephin: A looped climb from the North. Stunning views all around!
derkelly274 11 hours ago.
First time climbing Nephin for both myself and my friend. We decided to go at it from the North as it seemed like a more interesting prospect. There was access to the woods on the northern slope o...

  
Track
Camenabologue SE
Bunsen7 2 days ago.
This shortish alternative track makes use of a forest ride (as heralded by Simon3) from Glenmalure to reach Camenabol... walk, Len: 10.6km, Climb: 664m, Area: Camenabologue SE Top, Dublin/Wicklow (Ir

  
Summit Comment
Knockshanahullion: Route Changes on Avondhu Way
Pepe 17 hours ago.
Approached from carpark above Bay Lough (B). There are new signs on the waymarked trail saying "Blackwater Way Please Note Route Changes". The waymark arrows on the markers look shiny and new, abo...

Track
Mullaghcleevaun circuit
osullivanm 2 days ago.
A very pleasant circuit although some difficult ground between Duff Hill and the return to start of hike. walk, Len: 17.3km, Climb: 792m, Area: Black Hill, Dublin/Wicklow (Ireland) Blac...

  
Summit Comment
Tooreenbaha: Early on a sunny April morning
peter1 23 hours ago.
Tooreenbaha, above the Rabach's Glen at the start (or finish!) of the circuit. Knockatee is the distinctive hill in the background.

  
Forum: General
An Alp for OAPs...
Colin Murphy 4 days ago.
If you an ageing hillwalker like myself who might have liked to bag an ‘Alp’ but are too long in the tooth to contemplate such an adventure, fear not, there is a simple little Austrian Alp you can...

Forum: General
MOUNTAINVIEWS MEMBERS MEET APRIL 2018
liz50 5 days ago.
Not long now until the first Mountainviews members meet of 2018. We will be walking in the Galtee mountains on Saturday 28th April. If you are thinking of joining us and would like more details pl...

  
Summit Comment
Knockowen: A view from the West
peter1 23 hours ago.
A view of Knockowen from Tooreenbaha. The Healy Pass is the gap on the right of the picture and the road can be seen rising across the slopes.

  
Track
Bonscale Pike-Wether Hill Loop
David-Guenot 6 days ago.
A beautiful route which takes in 6 wainwrights (Bonscale Pike, Arthur's Pike, Loadpot Hill, Wether Hill, Steel Knotts... walk, Len: 17.3km, Climb: 948m, Area: Swarth Fell (Ullswater), Lake District -


RECENT CONTRIBUTIONS 1 2 3 .. 16 Next page >>