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Post details Post   (Contract pics)
Bleck Cra
2009-03-01 23:49:45
"New Horizons" from Bleck Cra Contract pics
Picture: New Horizons (Contract pics)

A NEW WORLD?
Sunday in the Mournes was the kind of day Christopher Columbus tested his round-earth theory – he could watch his disappearing ship up to 100 miles away and still read the number plate. So, to the palace.

QI: You thay Mathter Columbuth that the thyip dithappears under the horithon”

CC: Arr yes Marm I do and it does.

QI: And that meanth the earth ith round?

CC: As round as an ale wench’s, er, recepticles.

QI: Mathter Columbuth.
CC: Yes Marm.

QI: Do you have a hairy chetht?

CC: As ‘airy as a polecat’s, er, sports undergarment.

QI: Oh alright then – a thquillion ducats – will that do? And off he went – brandishing something we don’t. A blunderbuss or a 15th C version of it.

There are three scrambling motorbikes descending the Glen River track; Christy C and the Santa Maria are picking their way up the Glen River. An engagement. Out comes the blunderbuss thing. Game over. Oh, would that we had foregone that bit of civilisation – the “thou shall not blow to smithereens” bit. You have to hand it to them though; with their fat arses and skittish thin bikes - not only up the Glen but actually on to the summit of Donard. Fascinated but very uneasy about it. Firstly my hills are not my hills – they are the farmer’s and before that, God’s or the Puca’s. There is no law or even request at this particular locus dissuading motorcyclists, gold miners, tobogganists or llama breeders availing of these hills. Furthermore if I hear the same whining coming out of me as drones out of rights-of-way activists, gobble warning warners or erosion blitherers I shall certainly kill myself. On Sunday, three bikes foul up the Glen River. In 1492, three ships foul up a quiet day in San Salvador.
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