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CaptainVertigo
2016-03-06 13:47:18
"Do "No Valuables Here" Notices work?" from CaptainVertigo Expand pics
Do "No Valuables Here" Notices work? (Expand pics)
Making Wicklow Great Again
There's really no fun in Wicklow walks anymore because of the endless car break-ins and the anxiety surrounding the issue. Although I have never been a victim myself, I was present at the end of a group walk when one of our number discovered that his car had been broken into. I don't recall that anything was taken, but the thieves had broken the door as part of gaining entry and it was obvious that it was going to cost. It was a real downer for all of us to see our friend in difficulties at the end of a long day.
I went up Stoney Top recently.. On the way , I spotted a car in Laragh with a sign in the window saying that there was no point in breaking in because there were no valuables left in it. It was handwritten which added a personal touch. I presume the idea is to say to the thief: I am but a poor boy though my story's seldom told , I have squandered my valuables during the Boom for a pocketful of mumbles such are promises. All lies and jest: still, a man hears what he wants to hear during elections and disregards the rest and now I've nothing but another Come On from the Hoors in Leinster House. I'm BROKE. I have a 2002 car that permits me to indulge my one single meaningful connection with the universe. Please don't wreck it.
I'd like to think that the would-be car thief would pause a moment, and maybe phone headquarters: "Hey Boss, we've a lad here who seems to be a bit stuck for a few bob. Will I give him a miss?" The Boss, an Irish Tony Soprano type with an animal nickname ("The Orangutan") turns out to be attending his weekly counselling session, so he just says "Leave it out Mick"
Since I don't believe in these kinds of miracles, I left the door of my car open, with no valuables inside, and hoped for a Passover without the harming of a single Wicklow Spring Lamb. Deep down I felt that they would vandalise the car to pay me back for being a failure, with nothing to offer.
So my entire journey to Stoney Top and back was one long Trump style angry pink man tirade with me as both the demagogue and the whooping audience.
"You know the guys with small hands who break into cars? I'm gonna sever their connections to their gene pools the old fashioned way by tying fishing line to their tackle as they lie dozing after a day's crime. I'm GONNA MAKE WICKLOW GREAT AGAIN."
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